30 Jan
You have 7 new messages. First New Message:
“Hey, uh Sue right? This is uh, John, from last night. Remember? We met at that bar…I think…Actually the whole night gets a bit hazy right after you bought me that drink…You don’t happen to know what happened to my wallet do you? Or my pants? Well, anyway please give me a call...I uh…had a great time? My number is--”

Beeep. Message Erased. Next New Message:
“BRRAAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSS!!!”

Beeep. Message Saved. Next New Message:
“Susan, this is your father calling, your mother and I are concerned about those strange smelling punks you’ve been hanging around, we’d like to---“

Beeep. Message Erased. Next New Message:
“I like pie.”

Beeep. Message Erased. Next New Message:
“Hello, Susan Jones? This is Officer Jim calling. I would like to talk to you in connection with some local gang activity. I understand you may know a couple of the individuals involved. Please give me a call—“

Beeep. Message Erased. Next New Message:
“Sue! We’re meeting up at the Pizza place on 5th! You gotta come out! We’re gonna see if we can……Hey! Hold on!….Wait a minute!…Get away from me!!...No!............AARRRGGGGHH!!!!.......................BRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSS!!!!”

Beeep. Message Erased. Next New Message:
“You don’t know me, my name is Jill, I uh…got your number from John….we uh…used to date…he said he spent some time withh you last night…Um, I think maybe you should…uh…go get yourself checked out…um…John been known to…spend time…with…uh…women of…uh…ill-repute...Also…I was at his house last week, and he has a prescription for Valtrex…So, uh…yeah…I gotta go…”

Beeep. Message Saved.

Beeep.

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Happy Inane Answering Message Day! I hope your messages are better than Susan’s.