John & Sue Meet Mr. Texas

“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” says the announcer, “Today only we have the special for you! Have you ever wanted to be part of the ‘in’ crowd but never quite mad the grade? I am about to demonstrate to you the most important discovery since the home refrigerator.”

John pushes his way through the captivated audience, enticing glares from several onlookers. “Excuse me” he whispers to one especially angry woman, he moves on before she has a chance to reply. Finally, he reaches his target. A tall, skinny woman in a sun dress is staring at the stage completely oblivious to the rest of the world. “Sue, Sue. Hey! Sue!” John attempts to raise her interest to no avail.

Finally, she turns slowly toward him. “John? What are you doing here?” she asks wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth. “I thought you were going to get the car fixed while I shopped”

“I did, they finished with it two hours ago.” John says “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“What are you talking about? You dropped me off ten minutes ago.”
“Sue, it’s five-thirty, they’re starting to close the store.”
“Really? That’s odd, well, let me just finish listening to Mr. Texas then we’ll go okay?” she begins to turn back to the stage, but stops “Oh, be a dear and pick up the things on this list. Thanks.” She presses a folded piece of paper into John’s hands.
He looks up at the stage, squinting, “Do I know that guy?”
“Don’t forget, sixty percent of anything you buy here today goes to under privileged children. Because…” Mr. Texas continues.
“Texas Loves The Children!” the crowd shouts.
Mr. Texas smiles at the crowd, “That’s right! Also, if you pay cash to—“
“Hey! I know where I’ve seen you!” John shouts, cutting in to a sound of hisses, “You were on the news, you’re that escaped convict!”
“Sir, that is ludicrous. Please, I won’t be interrupted by wild accusations. Now where was I?”
“You know dear,” says Sue, “he does look an awful lot like that con-man. What was his name?”
“I don’t remember,” says John, “something with a state, I think.”
“It’s Jeremy Maine” one of the women says, “he used to go by the name Mr. Maine.”
“Hey now, calm down, everyone. I am not this Mr. Maine fellow, I’m just a traveling salesman.” Mr. Texas says. A soft murmur starts in the crowd of women so recently held in a thrall bu the charismatic and handsome salesman. The looks of awe turn quickly to looks of anger.
“No that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that they said something about him being a child molester.” John says his voice dropping to a whisper for added effect.
Sue turns to him, her eyes wide. “Texas loves the children.” The crowd loses all control and becomes a mob, chasing Mr. Texas out of the store, picking up pitchforks, torches, and other necessary mob utilities on the way out. Still standing in front of the now empty stage are John and Sue. Sue looks after the mob with yearning, but John has a firm grip on her arm.
“C’mon, let’s go home,” He says
“But what about Mr. Texas? Can’t we chase after him?” she asks
“No Sue, remember last time we were involved with a mob?”
“Yes, you accused me of being in league with Santa.”
“Very good dear, let’s go” says John turning to lead her out of the store.
“Jerk” she mutters under her breath.

Happy Texas Loves the Children Day! I hope they mean the state and not some guy. That would be awkward. And wrong. Very very wrong.